When you know and understand your purpose; you begin to know and understand your worth. For the past couple of days Isaiah 43 has been ministering to my spirit. In Isaiah 43 God reminds us that we are precious in His sight and that we have been called by name. How great is it that before I was even a thought, before I was even formed in my mother's womb I was chosen! When you understand your value in life you start to walk a little taller, your confidence is higher. I learned to see myself the way God sees me which has made a difference.
I remember as a young girl I was so discontent with everything about me ("I wasn't pretty enough, my body wasn't that of a video vixen, I was too dark, my clothes weren't high fashion, no one that I wanted would ever want me. etc etc..), but I am sure most girls go through a phase like that. However, I found myself experiencing a similar phase when I made the decision to give my life back to Christ on 1/1/13 after a very long 13-14 year hiatus. I felt as though having walked away from that grace of God I was no longer good enough to preach. Having had two children out of wedlock, I was no longer good enough for marriage. I beat myself up for months because I felt as though my self-image lacked value and had become worthless. Then one day I had an epiphany and I was reminded that while I was going through my rollercoaster of changes; God never changed. He was the same God that I fell in love with when I was 12 years old. He was the same God that used me to preach the gospel near and far. So, if He was the same God how could it be possible that He would not USE me again? Now, in order for Him to fully use me I would have to fully commit and submit to His will.
For the first 6 months I was on fire for God. Ministering His word through a particular social network, but after the first 6 months into my rekindled relationship with Christ I found myself going through a phase of averageness. I had some how let my value depreciate by my own accord. I had become blinded by my emotions, my confusions and my silent cries for help. I couldn't figure out where I went wrong. Eventually, I began to understand. In December I took a solo trip to an island in honor of my 30th birthday (yes, I'm the big 3-0). During that time I was able to really spend time alone with God and fall back in love with Him. I spoke to Him as though He was a best friend that I had lost touch with. He listened as I cried, laughed, joked, and even vented. The best part about my trip was that by the end I understood my value again. I still made some silly and dumb mistakes, but by 12/31/13 I had it all together. I remembered that I was wonderfully and beautifully made. I remembered that when He made me, He made no mistakes and broke the mold for a reason. I was reminded that there is no one else in this world like me and I am one of one.
So, I've said all this to say no matter what believe that you are a valuable person, with a great future! God makes no mistakes. You were not an accident . You are gifted, talented, and have a purpose on this earth, make good use of it!
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