Fill in the Gap

Day 9

The heart can be a terrible place when it is void and lacking in love. It took me a lot of years to finally understand the meaning of love, but I wouldn't change a moment of my trials and tribulations to get to the point where I am today.

Growing up without a father was rather difficult because it left a terrible void in my heart. It was very hard to understand at a young age why my mother and father had gotten a divorce. I often time blamed myself for their divorce. As I got older I went through my share of ups and downs, of trying to understand what love should reflect. However, I didn't quite get it. I eventually gave up on the idea, but somehow God has this wonderful way of working things out and filling in the gaps when you least expect it in life.  By giving my life back to Christ and falling deeply and madly in love with Him; He showed me the meaning of love. He demonstrated that the heart should be filled with joy and happiness and I am glad to say that I no longer know the meaning of what it feels like to have an empty heart. Furthermore, I was able to learn the true meaning of also raising my children in the joy, love and happiness of knowing Jesus. In doing so they would never have a chance to feel the same void that I felt  as a result of my father not being present. God reassures  those He loves that when we are empty He will fill us up. He promises joy and peace.  I instill in my children the importance of not just knowing about God, but making Him a part of their lives. I teach them the importance of praying over every meal, praying before bed and praying before they start their day. Being mindful of the decisions they choose to make while teaching them that they are the only ones that can be accountable for those choices. By instilling these core values in them I trust and believe that they will hold onto these very values as they get older. Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

I have also been a firm believer that children need both a mother and father in order to function.  However, in the meantime of waiting for the appropriate father figure in their lives I have learned to surround myself with like minded people who value parenthood and understand the seriousness of being present in their children's lives. It is one thing to be a parent when it's convenient for you and it's another thing to actually be a mother or father to that child. At this point in my life I am just thankful that God chose me to bear these two children into the world. I am also grateful that He has gifted me with wisdom and grace to raise them into a Godly young man and woman.   I also thank Him for placing the perfect people in my life to help fill in the gaps where I could not.  It such a wonderful feeling to know that when you trust the One who holds your life in His hands; everything works out in perfect harmony.