Helping Hands

Day 14


Anyone who knows me personally, knows that I have never been the type to keep friends. Not because I am a bad friend or because I have befriended bad individuals, but simply because I learned from a young age how to work well alone. Over the years I haven't called too many people "friend" because I was taught at a young age that your best friend today could be your worst enemy tomorrow. Not to mention how loosely the term "friend" has been used amongst individuals over the years.  However, despite my up brining and personal experiences what I have learned is that we encounter the very people God predestined us to meet; long before we knew it would happen. These are the people that I call the "helping hands."

I have learned that in life we all come across people that may be with us for a season or a lifetime, but in essence no matter how long they are with us they are there to serve a purpose. To teach us a valuable life lesson. So, with that said as I've matured and evolved I've learned that not everyone is meant to be part of your life forever, but it is important that you don't miss the valuable lesson they've been sent to teach you.

Throughout my life I have had a number of helping hands that I have encounter and few that I have called friends, but when I finally evaluated the term "friend" and looked at it from a spiritual point of view I learned the true definition of friendship and found that friends do exist and not everyone that hurts you should be dismissed. It may be that the lesson they have been sent to teach you is how to endure through hurt and mend the hurt in order to move on. As a result, your ability to learn from that particular experience prepares you for future experiences.

Helping hands as I like to call them are individuals who are willing to accept you as you are( because they understand that only God can transform you), love you unconditionally (because the love of Christ that exist within them wouldn't allow anything less), encourage you to be better in life, and plant seeds in you that will help to cultivate you into the very person that Christ desires you to be.  They are the positive forces that God plants around us in order to help us reach to higher heights so that we may serve out God's perfect plan and purpose in spirit and in truth.  They are the ones who will refuse to stand around and watch you as you fall without first trying to prevent that fall to begin with. Those to me are my helping hands.

I had a recent incident that occurred in which someone saw something that could have affected my walk with Christ or even  my ministry, but said nothing. At first my spirit was affected by it but as I sought God's face in prayer for understanding of the matter He made it very clear to me, that should you see your brother or sister placing themselves in harms way it is our duty to speak on it. People who possess hands to help others would never sit on the sideline and watch someone slip into something that could potentially cause harm. Doing so would make that individual equally as guilty.  So, with that said I encourage everyone that reads this to develop hands that seek to help others even if it's for a season. Helping others is only as effective as the hearts of the (wo)man that desire to lend a helping hand. So, be sure to help someone, you never know it may be that helping hand to save their life.

Keep  Me Humble in Your Presence.

Unconditional love

Day 13

What is unconditional love? How is it defined? What does it look like? How does it feel? Often time we as people lack the full understanding as to what it means to love "unconditionally." Often time our love is based on circumstances and unstable emotions. We often define unconditional love as what  another person is capable of doing for us or how they are capable of making us feel; when in reality that is as far from unconditional as it gets. Unconditional love is the ability to love despite the circumstances. The ability to love through the good, bad, beautiful and ugly. Unconditional love is the ability to love despite how a person makes you feel. So when you care to measure the unconditional love of a person take into consideration the character of the person. Because unconditional love and the character of an individual are inseparable.  I've learned to truly love unconditionally... It may not be completely perfected, but it's close. I don't based my love for fellow brothers and sisters on what they can do for me or how they can make me feel. I love them because I understand what it feels like to not have been loved and also what it feels like to be loved unconditionally. Christ loves unconditionally. His love for us has never been based on our present circumstances, but instead He loves us through them fighting for us, interceding for us; so that we may come out victorious in the end. I encourage everyone who reads this to pursue a heart like Jesus Christ so that He too can transform your circumstantial and conditional love for
Others to an unconditional love!


Keep me humble in your presence.

Blessings

Day 12

Lord, how amazing are You? How rich are Your blessings? I still can't  get over just how awesome You are! Today, was such a great day full of testimony and praise. I truly learned the meaning of what it means to be blessed. At one point in time I expected blessings simply because I'm a daughter of the King and because His word promises to supply for all my needs. I was so caught up in what I thought I should have and what I believed I deserved forgetting that it is better to give than receive.  Today, my blessings were received  in my ability to be a blessing to someone else.  I  understand that in order to receive blessings I must first choose to be a blessing to someone else; however, that could only come through obedience of the word.  Deuteronomy 28:2 speaks on all the blessings that will pour down on us and how they are spread out because we listen to the voice of God.  I honestly, never understand why He chooses to bless me the way He does because I always feel so undeserving of His blessings. However, I understand that his guaranteed  blessings over my life are for a greater purpose.

Today, I thank God for His grace and mercy that have allowed me the opportunity to choose life. I thank Him for being so awesome and making my life so rich and fulfilling.  I thank Him for everything I have and everything I don't have., because  in reality  He has made me rich beyond my wildest dreams.  Each and everyday that I choose to live and breathe in You makes life that much more rewarding.

What will your answer be?

Day 11

My heart and soul say, Yes.

Knowing

Day 10

How many people actually know who they are? Often time we are conditioned to think we know who we are; however, when you are certain in who you are, you become unstoppable and unmovable. Today, I can happily declare I know who I am, but not only do I know who I am; I also know who I am in Christ.

Sometimes less says more...

Fill in the Gap

Day 9

The heart can be a terrible place when it is void and lacking in love. It took me a lot of years to finally understand the meaning of love, but I wouldn't change a moment of my trials and tribulations to get to the point where I am today.

Growing up without a father was rather difficult because it left a terrible void in my heart. It was very hard to understand at a young age why my mother and father had gotten a divorce. I often time blamed myself for their divorce. As I got older I went through my share of ups and downs, of trying to understand what love should reflect. However, I didn't quite get it. I eventually gave up on the idea, but somehow God has this wonderful way of working things out and filling in the gaps when you least expect it in life.  By giving my life back to Christ and falling deeply and madly in love with Him; He showed me the meaning of love. He demonstrated that the heart should be filled with joy and happiness and I am glad to say that I no longer know the meaning of what it feels like to have an empty heart. Furthermore, I was able to learn the true meaning of also raising my children in the joy, love and happiness of knowing Jesus. In doing so they would never have a chance to feel the same void that I felt  as a result of my father not being present. God reassures  those He loves that when we are empty He will fill us up. He promises joy and peace.  I instill in my children the importance of not just knowing about God, but making Him a part of their lives. I teach them the importance of praying over every meal, praying before bed and praying before they start their day. Being mindful of the decisions they choose to make while teaching them that they are the only ones that can be accountable for those choices. By instilling these core values in them I trust and believe that they will hold onto these very values as they get older. Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

I have also been a firm believer that children need both a mother and father in order to function.  However, in the meantime of waiting for the appropriate father figure in their lives I have learned to surround myself with like minded people who value parenthood and understand the seriousness of being present in their children's lives. It is one thing to be a parent when it's convenient for you and it's another thing to actually be a mother or father to that child. At this point in my life I am just thankful that God chose me to bear these two children into the world. I am also grateful that He has gifted me with wisdom and grace to raise them into a Godly young man and woman.   I also thank Him for placing the perfect people in my life to help fill in the gaps where I could not.  It such a wonderful feeling to know that when you trust the One who holds your life in His hands; everything works out in perfect harmony.

Timing

Day 8

God's timing is PERFECT! The Bible speaks of everything under heaven having a time and place to occur (Ecclesiastics 3:1). How perfect is it that today is day 8 in my journal writing, which signifies new beginnings?  Today, began a new chapter in my life and I learned just how important it is to understand and accept God's timing. God knows exactly what He's been doing to prepare me for what's to come. I'd love to type an elaborate moment today, but today I think I'll just keep it to myself. However, all I can say is  I am overjoyed!

God is always perfect in timing.

Power of Prayer & Stillness

Day 7

There is so much power in prayer, so much so, that it has the ability to clarify things that were once blurred. So, today I took a moment at work to really be still in the presence of God and found it to be so refreshing. During my praying moment I asked the Holy Spirit to take the lead on my prayer, to break my heart into pieces and restore it the way it needed to be. During that moment of stillness God reminded me although I have been seeking His face and praying faithfully I was forgetting to include  a lot of people in prayer. In that moment it made me realize how selfish I had become in my prayer life, always praying about my needs and not the needs of others.  So, I asked the Holy Spirit to guide me in prayer and He did just that.

 What I learned during my time with God in that moment is that prayer requires commitment. Praying isn't simply about babbling your complaints, wants and needs, but it's about having authentic and meaningful conversations with God. Developing a prayer life is much like how you develop a relationship with your husband or wife. You take the time out to speak and listen and really digest all that the other person is saying to you. Communicating with God through prayer is very much the same.  Which is why it is so important to seek God's face early in the morning the moment you wake up so that He might direct your day in perfect order. It's not to say things won't happen to try and make you slip off track, but the power of prayer has the ability to keep you grounded. I have found that the morning hours are the most ideal time to talk to God before the rest of the world wakes up... and when I say world I'm referring to your cell phone, television, traffic, arguing children etc ... that have the ability to distract you from those precious moments with God.

One of the problems I was exhibiting in my prayer life was that I was subconsciously trying to calculate the amount of time I would spend in prayer (i.e. 30, 45, 60 minutes at a time).  Because my focus was so much on the time aspect it was taking away from those authentic moments with God.  I wanted to learn how to pray without ceasing ( 1 Thessalonians 5:17)  because much like when you're in the midst of good company with smiles and laughs you don't want those moments to end ... is pretty much what I wanted my prayer life to reflect. Which meant even after I was done praying I would leave and walk with God still praying in spirit.

The best thing about prayer is that it isn't a monologue. When you're done praying and God has listened it is so important to be still in the moment and allow Him to speak back to you.  Some people struggle with hearing the voice of God and often time are quick to write off what they hear as their own voice. Just know when God speaks there will be peace in your soul. So, whatever you need the answers to they will come with a sense of peace when your inner ear speaks it to your spirit. Just be still and listen. I am determined to make my prayer life the best conversations ever!

Keep me humble in your presence.

Secrets

Day 6

We all have had secrets, right? Well, at least I know I did. There was a moment in time where I had somehow managed to fool myself into thinking that my secret sins that people couldn't see were hidden from everyone including God. Well, let me just say I was wrong, wrong, and more wrong!!! How could I possibly think for a moment that my secrets sins could be hidden from the All seeing , powerful and mighty God? I had to be a fool, right? There was a point in my life where I struggled with sexual immorality. Everything in my spirit would plead with me to flee from the temptation, but I would ignore it and go right ahead and sin against my body. The sad part was I tried to justify it as if I wasn't sinning against my body; forgetting that my body is the temple of the Holy Ghost. So, what did this really mean? This meant that not only was I sinning against my body but I was also sinning against the Holy Spirit which dwelled in me. I had become so ashamed and angry at myself. However, I also became blinded not realizing that my sexual immorality and my sinning against the Holy Ghost had caused Him to leave my body therefore causing my heart to become hardened against those sins. I struggled with feelings of emptiness, confusion, feeling lost and hopeless. But how great is God that He sent His only Begotten Son to die for my very sins. I was reminded that I was bought with a price, of innocent blood shed. Therefore, I had to come out of my sexual immorality and break that chain over my life. I needed to remember that the price that was paid for me in my entirety needed to glorify God in my body and in my spirit.  (1 Corinthians 6:11, 19 & 20).  God, I know Your Word is true and everlasting. What better of a life manual than the Holy Bible? I mean seriously everything that I have faced in life there has been clear instructions as to how I should or could have avoided it.  I am so in love with Jesus that I refuse sin. I refuse to justify it any longer. I refuse to play with sin as if it won't burn me. What I have learned during my period out of Christ and during my period of dryness was that I was bought with a price. Therefore, moving forward in both my spiritual life and in life I refuse to lower my standards to please anyone who doesn't understand the price that was paid for my life.  I've learned that the word "no" is a complete sentence and I have no problem telling anyone, No.  I refuse to replace God with anyone or anything. He takes precedence in my life at all times because my desire is to serve Him in spirit and in truth.. which means with my whole life, my body, my mind and my heart.

So, no matter what your secrets may be whether it is alcoholism, pornography, masturbation, fornication, adultery, stripping, prostitution, drug addiction or selling,  homosexuality and the list goes on... just know that there is no way for you to enter into heaven doing those things. You have to declare your freedom from those strongholds over your life and trust God  enough to bring you out and make you better.  Don't allow your heart to become so harden to sin that you turn from God and revel in your own sinful pleasures.  These things are only for a moment, but hell is forever. I say this to say, I've been there, I've done that, but I made a conscious decision to change my life because I love my soul and I know the price that was paid for it.  I have purpose over my life, I understand my value & worth and although my emotions haven't always aligned itself  with my mind knowing what I should do and shouldn't do... I've learned to allow my emotions to catch up with the sound mind that I know God has blessed me with in due time.

I made the decision to no longer go to church every Sunday as if that alone would get me into heaven. Instead I made the decision to live off the word of God and make it my source of life. One of the beautiful things about Christ is that His love is unconditional so when you recognize your wrong, repent and ask Him to enter your life, He begins to change and transform the things that you thought were impossible to change or let go of. God is so amazing and I truly love Him like crazy! This is what I call PERFECT LOVE. So, I'll end by saying this, people will often time look at me and stick up their nose saying... "you were just doing x,y and z not too long ago, but here you are now trying to preach to people about the very thing you once did." Well sister or brother understand that the Bible calls for righteous judgment, which means when you recognize the error of your ways and you depart from it and know to never go in that direction again, it would be wise for you to inform others of the judgment end result should they choose to continue in that particular sin. Furthermore, I know who I was out of Christ and she's dead and gone, so, now I rejoice in knowing WHO I AM IN CHRIS. After all  the latter is always greater than the former.

Keep me humble in your presence.

Balance

Day 5

Sometimes trying to balance everything in life can become so hectic and overwhelming that I forget to take care of me. Balancing being a single mother of two children ( 10 1/2 & 4... that 6 1/2 year difference can be challenging.) Working full time as a social worker, yet pursuing my career changing opportunities at the same time, cooking, cleaning, maintaining my moments with God. It's a lot because each thing requires it's own designated time. I remember there was a moment where I was constantly on a particular social network and it was interfering with my life in all areas. It was affecting how well I was tending to my home , career and relationship with God. Although, I used the social network as a means of spreading the word and love of God it was really taking me over. So, God spoke to me one day and told me to let it go. Let go of what I was doing and refocus my attention to Him. I tried to make excuses to Him all the while trying to justify that I was doing His work, but let me tell you God is quick to shut you down and check you. He made it very clear that while my desire was to do His work and spread His word, I wasn't putting Him first ...and then I had the audacity to wonder why various areas of my life began to become unbalanced.

GOD is whatever I need...

I say this to say if I put Him first always, He will  balance out life in all areas. He will balance my ability to be a great mother, a great teacher, a great helper, a great friend, a great daughter, a great leader and someday a great wife. It is so important to seek God first in everything we do, because His promise remains that all things will be added unto us. I remain humble in His presence. I love the fact that He loves me so much that He refuses for me to get so distracted by everything else that I forget about Him.

He even goes as far to remind me to take time out for myself. If I'm incapable of caring for myself how will I ever properly care for anyone else. Often time as mothers we get so overly consumed with taking care of our homes that we neglect ourselves. As, I tell many of the clients I work with, having time for yourself is essential to your growth and heath. Everyone needs a moment to refresh mentally in order for them to continue to tend to those things which are important to them.

In the end, I love how He continues to teach me how to submit to Him first, always, because I understand the importance of submission to Him that will one day have to be given to my husband as well.

Trust

Day 4

 Trust. How do people define it? Often time people say you can lose a person's trust faster than you can gain it. However, for me trust isn't found in a single person. Trust for me is holding on to a strong faith in God. My trust in God is backed up with complete knowledge and understanding that with God anything is possible, even those things which seem impossible and out of reach.  I've learned to trust God because after trying to do things my way and always failing has taught me that if I knew it all and had all the answers; what purpose would God serve in my life? I'm in a season in my life where I have learned to completely float with God instead of floating by myself knowing very well I don't know how to swim. (Seriously, I don't know how to swim) In order to fully trust God there were some things I needed to learn how to do faithfully. I needed to pray more ( I mean really pray, tears, snot and crying from my belly type of pray). I needed to read more because the Bible isn't our life instruction for no reason. Finally, I had to cut off a lot of people and things that were hindering my spirit, and clouding my mind about how much trust I should put in God.  So, I guard my heart and spirit from the spoiled seeds that people and things try to plant.  After all The Bible doesn't tell us to guard our hearts for no reason.

With that said it's rather simple. When you know better, you do better.  Put your Trust in God, do your part then relax and allow God to do the rest.







20 words....
My spirit knew you before I knew you. Now, I know you and I remain patient for you to awake. Genesis 2:18-23

Perfection in Imperfection

Day 3

God you are AMAZING! I can't say this enough. How is it that you could take something so imperfect, so ratchet, so weak and make it perfect in Your sight? Who else but You, Lord? I'm so humbled and so grateful for how You continue to move in my life. How You continue to bless me even behind the scenes. All I ask is that You continue to draw me closer to You, because I need more of You, Jesus. You are my peace, You are my provider, You are my comforter and in You I am made whole. Your love for me is unconditional and pure. What greater love could I find, than the love that I have found in You?

When I think about the way Christ loves us unconditionally it makes me think of my own love for others. Everyday I ask  Jesus to make me more like Him, to have a love for people that is unconditional. Once upon a time when I used to pray for a husband (imagine that, lol) I used to wonder in the back of my mind would I ever be able to truly love a man unconditionally like Christ has loved me; or will my love for my future husband be conditional? Will my love be based on what that husband could do for me, or how he could make me feel? Would my love change and fluctuate  like the stock market based on the conditions of the moment? Or would my love for my husband be much like the love of Christ, unconditional and unchanging? Would my love for my future husband find perfection in his imperfections?  Would it love him when he was weak or  when  he'd do something foolish? These were the questions that I had asked. These are the questions that made me wonder if marriage was even for me, because I'd expect to be loved unconditionally and through my imperfections, but would I be able to reciprocate that love?

Eventually, God and all His amazingness showed me that if He exist in me then it makes me capable of loving perfectly through imperfections. I learned that true love isn't conditional. True love isn't simply based on the emotions for the moment.   Pure unadulterated love is possible when you draw yourself closer to Christ.  The way God works is quite amazing ...the moment I opened my heart up for the Holy Spirit to teach me the things I desired in my future husband is when He taught. I began to develop the fruits of my spirit. I learned to love unconditionally,  I became kinder, and I learned to be more patient. As, I continue to seek God's face in prayer for growth and strength in all areas of my life, He has began showing me things. These things are pretty wonderful might I add, but there is something about sitting at the feet of Jesus Christ that just seems to make all things new.

So, with that said whatever your area of imperfections are today just know that He uses the weak and foolish things on purpose because in doing so it keeps us humble and steadily at His feet giving Him all the glory, honor and praise. (1 Corinthians 1:27-29). I can speak on this because I know it's true for a fact from personal experience. It's quite amazing how my soul was capable of loving someone unconditionally before I have even loved them. When you let the Holy Spirit take the lead, everything else has a way of falling into perfect harmony.

Thank you, for keeping me humble in your presence.

I am Invaluable

Day 2

When you know  and understand your purpose; you begin to know and understand your worth. For the past couple of days Isaiah 43 has been ministering to my spirit. In Isaiah 43 God reminds us that we are precious in His sight and that we have been called by name. How great is it that before I was even a thought, before I was even formed in my mother's womb I was chosen! When you understand your value in life you start to walk a little taller, your confidence is higher. I learned to see myself the way God sees me which has made a difference.

I remember as a young girl I was so discontent with everything about me ("I wasn't pretty enough, my body wasn't that of a video vixen, I was too dark, my clothes weren't high fashion, no one that I wanted would ever want me. etc etc..), but I am sure most girls go through a phase like that. However, I found myself experiencing a similar phase when I made the decision to give my life back to Christ on 1/1/13 after a very long 13-14 year hiatus. I felt as though having walked away from that grace of God I was no longer good enough to preach. Having had two children out of wedlock, I was no longer good enough for marriage.  I beat myself up for months because I felt as though my self-image lacked value and had become worthless.  Then one day I had an epiphany and I was reminded that while I was going through my rollercoaster of changes; God never changed.  He was the same God that I fell in love with when I was 12 years old. He was the same God that used me to preach the gospel near and far.  So, if He was the same God how could it be possible that He would not USE me  again? Now, in order for Him to fully use me I would have to fully commit and submit to His will.

For the first 6 months I was on fire for God. Ministering His word through a particular social network, but after the first 6 months into my rekindled relationship with Christ I found myself going through a phase of averageness. I had some how let my value depreciate by my own accord. I had become blinded by my emotions, my confusions and my silent cries for help. I couldn't figure out where I went wrong. Eventually, I began to understand. In December I took a solo trip to an island in honor of my 30th birthday (yes, I'm the big 3-0). During that time I was able to really spend time alone with God and fall back in love with Him. I spoke to Him as though He was a best friend that I had lost touch with. He listened as I cried, laughed, joked, and even vented. The best part about my trip was that by the end I understood my value again. I still made some silly and dumb mistakes, but by 12/31/13 I had it all together. I remembered that I was wonderfully and beautifully made. I remembered that when He made me, He made no mistakes and broke the mold for a reason. I was reminded that there is no one else in this world like me and I am one of one.

So, I've said all this to say no matter what believe that you are a valuable person, with a great future! God makes no mistakes.  You were not an accident . You are gifted, talented,  and have a purpose on this earth, make good use of it!

Live life on purpose with God's purpose.

Day 1.

Purpose. Every time I thought I had it all figured out,You always found a way to remind me that living my life on purpose without my God given purpose was meaningless. You allowed me to learn a lot of lessons along the way, but I finally understand that living a life of purpose can only come from a God given purpose. Today, I just want to take a moment to say thank You. Thank You, for making me the confident woman that I am today. Thank You, for reminding me that through you all things are possible. Thank You, for always reminding me of my worth and value. As a woman full of confidence I live my life fearlessly. I know that as I walk in confidence You will break down barriers in my favor. You will open doors that were closed and create doors where none existed. I completely trust in You. My confidence exist in You because of You. I don't have time to concentrate on my weaknesses because You assured me in Your word that when I feel weak, it is then that I am strong.

It is amazing how we look at our lives and say to ourselves "we can't do this because it's too hard" or "we can't do that because we aren't strong enough." This is your moment to decree every blessing over your life. If God was able to use the mighty men and women in the Bible and they were able to overcome the trials, tribulations and tests! What makes you so insecure and self-conscious to think that you can not do the same? Learn to be confident in God, just like Hezeikiah. Allow God to help you recognize , develop, and maximize on your God given gifts and strength.  Live your life on purpose! With God's purpose.

Thank You, Lord for keeping me humble in your presence.